Dumb Tweets You Won't Believe

By Jake Schroeder
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Photo Courtesy: @KrisJenner/Twitter; Keeping up with the Kardashians/IMDb

From celebrities to all the ordinary human beings out there, we all make mistakes. Sadly, those mistakes are often splattered all over the internet these days, possibly in the form of a Tweet that could have used a lot more thought. Sometimes, those Tweets end up earning a spot as one of the weirdest or dumbest Tweets ever.

Misspellings, wrong facts and just simply wrong thinking are what separates these Tweets from the rest. Trust us, these messages will truly make you facepalm, especially when you see just how many highly followed celebrities ended up on our list. Ready? You asked for it!

This Halloween Fact Is — Just Wrong

Okay, it's one thing to try to make something creepy out of Friday the 13th by making a [hopefully] joking psychotic death threat, but it's another thing entirely to Tweet out something that really just makes you look like a brainless zombie. If you think this Tweet makes perfect sense at a first glance, think about it a little harder...

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

It's not the 666 years — funny — or the actual threat to kill someone. It's the idea that this Twitter user could believe Halloween falls on Friday the 13th, considering its never-changing date of October 31.

I'm Not Lovin' It

Everyone had a field day when McDonald's' social media team struggled with scheduling and handling Tweets. Someone clearly forgot to ask for the Black Friday Tweet copy and link and forgot to remove that memo from their actual scheduling tool. Oh, well, things like that happen at companies, but when you're a brand as big as McDonald's, it probably shouldn’t.

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Photo Courtesy: @McDonaldsCorp/Twitter

If you remember, Wendy's Twitter account took advantage of this mishap and said McDonald’s was as broken as their ice cream machine. Shots were definitely fired, but we hope that the team member who posted this wasn't.

This Math Problem

Sometimes people overthink things — like reeeeaaaaally overthink things. This Tweet is a prime example of what happens when you just can’t put two and two together and come up with four. Sure, in theory, it would make sense that someone might wonder if giving birth — like the actual labor and delivery — takes longer if you have more kids at once.

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

But no one should have ever asked this particular question. Still, let’s solve this dilemma once and for all. When you have twins, you're still pregnant for nine months. We definitely don't wish an 18-month pregnancy on anyone. That sounds like absolute torture no human would ever tolerate.

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They Really Were Clueless

This may not be offensive — depending on how much of a hardcore chick-flick fan you are, of course — but it's an incident that will definitely make you laugh. Sure, Mean Girls is a cult classic, but what's on that Twitter user's shirt is definitely not Mean Girls.

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Photo Courtesy: @subsahaaron/Twitter

Let's just hope the person mentioned didn't see this Tweet because this is one of those moments critics would never let you forget. Ever. What an iconic "clueless" moment! Get it? Clueless? That’s right, the movie on the shirt is Clueless.

Where Do We Even Start with This One?

Justin Bieber has had quite a few publicized mishaps in his career, but a lot of people may have missed this Tweet from his early days. It's still unclear whether this was complete trolling or an actual question, but we kind of hope he was just playing around.

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Photo Courtesy: @justinbieber/Twitter

Nope, in case you're wondering, Rhode Island isn't an actual island. The history behind its name is extremely complicated, and it dates back to the days of its discovery. Back then, an explorer pointed out the fact that the area resembled Rhodes, an island in Greece, which is one way the area could have gotten its name.

Missouri Definitely Loves Company

If there's one social media platform that could survive without spell check — if the presumed goal is to make it even funnier — it's Twitter. Although many users have grown over the years (or so we hope), you can still find plenty of Tweets that will make every grammar nerd's eye twitch.

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Photo Courtesy: @jack_daniel/Twitter

Missouri definitely loves company because — well, who wants to live in a place with no other people? Still, we feel like in this case, this Twitter user was intending to say "misery." Unless, of course, this is just one of those troll Tweets, in which case we should say touché, my friend, touché. Note: This account is not affiliated with the whiskey.

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Hello, Lindsay Lohan

Before Lindsay Lohan became known for her Mykonos dancing and getting in trouble with the law, she joined Twitter. Like many other celebrities, she had a little trouble managing her accounts in the beginning. By the looks of it, her Facebook account was connected to Twitter and vice versa.

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Photo Courtesy: @lindsaylohan/Twitter

This would have been a nice introductory Tweet — if it had actually said Twitter. Needless to say, it gave Twitter users at the time a lot of joy and entertainment. It clearly showed that celebrities don't always know what they're doing either, which is comforting.

But No Spell Check, Apparently

Getting an iPhone is always exciting, and what better way to announce it than on Twitter? You could definitely feel Chuck's excitement, because he couldn't even wait to properly word his Tweet. Clearly, his autocorrect wasn't on, although we definitely hope it is now.

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Photo Courtesy: @ChuckGrassley/Twitter

Ah, good old Chuck. Hopefully, his iPhone served him well, and he had fewer spelling mishaps moving forward. Do you think he makes an announcement every time he gets a new piece of technology? Honestly, how could his followers possibly stand the excitement? (Especially if the Tweets are similar to this one.)

Not Quite

This was the Tweet that caused so much rage among those who really appreciate rock music — and people who just can't let Nirvana go. Honestly, the moment you read this, you kind of see where they're coming from. It's one of those Tweets that definitely makes you feel a certain type of way, whether it's just trolling or not.

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Photo Courtesy: @MandaSwaggie/Twitter

In case you're still wondering and confused, Kurt Cobain was the frontman of the iconic band Nirvana. Kurt Hummel is a character on Glee who is played by Chris Colfer — and he is about as far removed from Kurt Cobain as you can get. Seriously, they have absolutely nothing in common, not even their music.

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This Short People Attack

Okay, out of all the Tweets on our list, this one is definitely the one that doesn’t actually challenge the intelligence of the poster. The more you think about it, it’s actually true. It’s crazy, but you and a friend could actually eat sub sandwiches equal to the length of a short person the next time you go on a munchie bender together.

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Photo Courtesy: @TheAwkwardTweet/Twitter

So, the next time you order footlong Subway sandwiches for the entire crew, just imagine that the sandwiches are the length of at least one person in your group. Just for kicks, the next time someone asks your height, give them the answer in Subway sandwiches.

Flaming Young?

Okay, let's be honest, we all have trouble spelling or saying the names of some foods out there (looking at you, açaí). This Tweet definitely shows some thought, but it had poor execution. While Bobby's dating game is strong — or so he would have you believe — his writing may need some work if he doesn’t want people to think he’s dating a cannibal.

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Photo Courtesy: @BobbyBucks/Twitter

We have a feeling "flaming young" was supposed to be "filet mignon" — unless flaming young is some weird form of kink, in which case, we don't want to know anything about it. Hopefully, the side chick will wise up and get her very own filet mignon with someone who appreciates her. Bone apple tea, Bobby! (Just kidding).

What's Beaties?

Honestly, finding Tweets with misspellings is the best — there are so many of them! One of our personal favorites came from this Twitter user, who had an interesting way of spelling "diabetes." Sure, it makes sense phonetically, but that's definitely not how you write it out.

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

It kind of makes you wonder how many people have been spelling it wrong all this time, in which case, we'd like to know what "beaties" means and why it’s so bad for you. On the other hand, the mom seems pretty awesome. We'll take the cookies and cakes if they don't want them!

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This Facepalm Tweet

Some Tweets clearly show that the poster has absolutely no clue about female anatomy or biology and how it all works. News flash, guys, the bladder has nothing to do with tampons — at all. It's one of those types of arguments you can frequently find on Twitter that make absolutely zero sense.

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

We sure hope this Twitter user learned a thing or two about women since this Tweet was sent. If they haven't, for the record, women can't just hold it in when they're on their period. It's not humanly possible.

A True Entrepreneur

You can't really facepalm over this Tweet because it's actually pretty clever. "If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you." Sure, it may not be the most romantic thing you've ever heard, but it hopefully was never intended to be remotely serious.

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Photo Courtesy: @pakalupapito/Twitter

On the other hand, if this was a poorly worded serious declaration — well, we don't recommend saying this to anyone you have a crush on or love because it will not end well. If that’s the case, let's just hope this Twitter user’s significant other didn’t see this Tweet.

It's Just Semantics... Right?

Let's take a break from celebrity Tweets for a moment. So, when your sister gets pregnant, do you become an aunt if she has a girl or an uncle if it's a boy? Nope. This female Twitter user would obviously be an aunt no matter what the gender of the baby is — unless she’s having a gender identity issue of her own, of course.

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Photo Courtesy: @AskAboutNe/Twitter

This was just one of those Twitter moments when someone was in way over their head, and we hope they were eventually able to move on from their unintentional viral Tweet fame that came about for all the wrong reasons. Hopefully, they are a happy aunt today!

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I Just Took a Blood Test

Before Lizzo came around with Truth Hurts, this Twitter user seems to have thought taking blood tests was like taking regular tests at school. "I took a blood test today and made a B+. Any tips so I can get an A next time?" This either an incredibly funny tweet from a jokester — we hope so! — or a super scary revelation of seriously low brain power.

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Photo Courtesy: @LehFluffy/Twitter

We hope this Twitter user eventually realized they can't just change their blood test results, no matter how hard they want an A. Just think of the improvement that could be made with a real effort to excel in school and get better grades. After all, that seems to be all they want.

Barraco Barner?

Some of the best Tweets are the ones that make absolutely zero sense. We're not sure who Barraco Barner is and why he's involved with Russia, but from what we can tell, neither does this Twitter user. Okay, we’re just kidding. Obviously, the poster is trying to reference former President Barack Obama.

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Photo Courtesy: @gemworrallx/Twitter

We sure hope that neither Barack Obama nor Barraco Barner is involved in politics with Russia. This Tweet was posted in 2014, and we have a feeling this Twitter user has learned a thing or two about U.S. presidents and the country's politics since then.

Jesus' Real Miracle Is...

Okay, this is one of those Tweets that is purposefully meant to be funny. There's no typo, no grammar mistake, no weird facts — it's just one of those weird, relatable Tweets we can all appreciate. After all, most people are very familiar with how hard it is to make friends as an adult.

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Photo Courtesy: @Mormonger/Twitter

To be completely fair in regard to Jesus, he was pretty popular, which is precisely why he managed to have 12 close friends in his 30s. It's a rare sight in life, and just as this Twitter user said, it's definitely a miracle to witness today.

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First Daughter Wishes

This Tweet shares the same energy with the one about being an aunt or uncle when the sister gives birth to her baby. We're pretty sure this Twitter user meant to say "baby" and not "daughter," because unless they have changed the definition, any daughter she has will in fact be a girl.

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

Since this Tweet was posted in 2014, maybe this Twitter user has already had her wish come true and has a gorgeous little girl. Hot tip: If she’s like almost all parents, she fell instantly in love, even if the baby was a boy.

This Flat Earth Fact

When you argue with people who believe in flat Earth, you might as well start pulling your hair out before you start arguing. If you do manage to remain zen, you should be able to find a ton of humor in their ridiculous statements.

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Photo Courtesy: @HeemyGotEm/Twitter

This Twitter user said the Earth has been flat since the beginning of time, and no one ever fell off. This genius comment was made in response to the common statement that if the Earth were flat, people would fall off. Here’s a thought: Maybe no one has ever fallen off the Earth because it's not even remotely flat. Crazy, right?

Martha Stewart's Secret Ingredient

It's unclear what Martha Stewart was going for when she sent this Tweet. Was it a craving? The beginning of a shopping list? Car oil? Cooking oil? Was it a Google accident? We'll probably never know, and the Twitterverse was just as confused at the time she posted the strange Tweet.

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Photo Courtesy: @MarthaStewart/Twitter

Well, Mrs. Stewart definitely uses oil in her cooking, so it could just mean she's mistaken her "to buy" list with her Twitter account. It happens, right? Either way, it gave slightly confused social media users a bit of good old entertainment. It's okay, just don’t make any recipe mistakes, Martha!

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Another Earth Fact

The world of politics is a crazy place, and when politicians got their hands on Twitter — hello, Donald Trump! — things become much more interesting and entertaining. Steve Stockman definitely had an idea in his head when he made this Tweet, but it must not have translated well into the English language and simple Earth facts.

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Photo Courtesy: @SteveStockmanTX/Twitter

First of all, you can't poke the Earth — it's not a balloon. Second, oil and gas won't come out if you do. We're not sure what substances were involved when this Tweet happened, but it's a fantastic idea for a fictional story or an abstract painting.

What Is Ebola?

Some Tweets should be typed into Google and searched instead of asking Twitter. Otherwise, the backlash can be pretty intense. This is one of those holy grail Tweets that always pops back up in your mind when you think about some of the dumbest Tweets people have ever sent.

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Photo Courtesy: @ash_trayz/Twitter

And we can definitely see why. Considering there's no country name that remotely resembles Ebola, we don’t even have a guess for what this Twitter user confused the Ebola virus for or what she was thinking. Luckily, Ebola is not a country. That would be pretty unfortunate for its residents and those affected by the disease.

Metal Pausing?

Speaking of Tweets that don't make sense at all, this Twitter user has a thing or two to learn about female anatomy and biology. This is sure not how things work. There’s no metal involved in female anatomy, and the heat has nothing to do with any internal organ issue.

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Photo Courtesy: @BlakeseaZ/Twitter

Come to think of it, what do you think "metal pausing" stands for? Menopausing? If so, that’s not even a word. Second, we sure hope this Twitter user learned more about female bodies as time went on and was able to learn just how menopause actually happens. As the Twitter meme says, "That's not it, chief."

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I Just Took an HIV Test

We love any test Tweets where the user clearly doesn't know what they're talking about. We're praying that someone set this Twitter user straight because they are certainly not in the clear with a positive HIV test result. Treatment would have been essential.

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

We don’t want to be the one to break it to them, but that's not exactly good news. If a test result comes back positive, it could mean something good, but it completely depends on the test. We're not sure if this was just pure trolling, but if not, we hope the person is doing well after learning the truth.

Inspired Milk

Ah, remember the days when milk just simply inspired you? There's nothing like a glass of refreshing milk to keep you healthy and keep your bones strong. We bet this guy thinks it's actually so healthy that it's incredibly inspiring and keeps you going. No matter what you do, the milk is there for you!

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Photo Courtesy: @hooplife_rob/Twitter

All jokes aside, this Twitter user clearly meant to say "expiring" instead of "inspiring." He probably found out that drinking milk that's expired isn't nearly as fun as drinking milk that’s full of positivity and life. We hope that Twitter user made it out alive with minimal intestinal upset.

It's the Hot Dog Costume

This is yet another one of those Tweets that's purposefully funny, but it will still make you facepalm. We're pretty sure doctors aren't supposed to judge anyone for their sexual activity, but if someone walked in wearing a hot dog costume, things just wouldn't feel right at all.

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Photo Courtesy: @Barknado69/Twitter

We always love when Twitter users are able to share their humor, completely aware that their Tweet is actually trolling or being purposefully funny. It just makes it that much better, and you definitely don't have to facepalm when you read it — for a change.

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Oh, Kris Jenner

We all know Kris Jenner doesn't hold back. She has proven time and time again that she is not a regular mom — she's the cool mom. (Just ask her.) You're doing amazing, sweetie. But when she posted this Tweet, everyone raised their eyebrows. What in the world did she mean by this?

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Photo Courtesy: @KrisJenner/Twitter

Was she talking about an actual meatloaf? Was it a metaphor for feeling incredibly full after eating way too much food? Was it an innuendo for something totally different? One thing we do know is that this came from Kris Jenner, and we'll probably never fully understand what goes on in her genius mind.

I Just Took a DNA Test

Yeah, doesn’t Mom want to know the baby is 100% hers? This Twitter user was clearly fed up that they have to be the one to take a DNA test that would confirm whether or not they are the father of a baby. But is it possible they really failed to understand why the woman doesn't have to do that? If so, they might also be dumb enough to need a lesson on why the baby could be theirs.

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Photo Courtesy: Twitter

Obviously, the woman carries the baby in her womb. It’s definitely hers unless some high-tech medical shenanigans are involved. We hope this Twitter user learned a thing or two about pregnancy. Is it wrong to also hope all their DNA tests remain negative? It’s just better that way.

It's Friday, Friday!

Last but not least, let's have a quick lesson on important dates and days of the week. Remember how Halloween is on a specific date every year? Well, as fate would have it, Friday is always on a Friday. We sincerely hope this is a troll Tweet, because it would make a lot more sense, honestly.

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Photo Courtesy: @talianak_/Twitter

How on Earth can Friday the 13th be on a Tuesday? It's not even theoretically possible, much less realistically. Tuesday the 13th exists in some months, but Friday will always remain a Friday. Oh Twitter, never change. We wonder if this Twitter user was disappointed when they realized the truth about Friday the 13th?

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