Laughable License Plates

By Jake Schroeder
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Photo Courtesy: Tooco/YouTube

The folks behind these license plates have great senses of humor. Coming up with the perfect abbreviation for a personalized license plate is complicated stuff. After all, "J is Lord" could be read in a few ways. Sure, it could stand for "Jesus is Lord," but it could also mean, well — sound out the letters together, and you'll understand. That's right; some of the most hilarious license plates happen to be extremely awkward.

That's Rude

It seems that good manners don't matter so much to this person from Louisiana. They decided to attach a blunt and painfully straightforward message to the rear-end of their vehicle, and it's not likely that anyone stuck behind them in traffic appreciated the sentiment.

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Photo Courtesy: sahnit kaushal/YouTube

Still, getting told you’re unattractive via license plate is kind of funny. Anyone with a sense of humor can appreciate the audacious, no-cares-given attitude of this plate. Though it may be easy to get offended by this statement, it's far easier to just laugh about it.

T.M.I.

Those unfamiliar with internet culture may not see the humor in this license plate, which is a real shame. However, anyone can recognize that "247" stands for 24/7 — as in "all the time." Taking things a step further, doing a Google Safe Search on the three letters will result in some surprisingly explicit results.

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Photo Courtesy: Tooco/YouTube

Those results will provide a clear explanation of the word "fap." Not only does this reveal that children with access to Google aren't entirely safe from inappropriate material, but it completely explains the meaning behind this license plate.

Bragging Rights

The fortunate individuals who own one — or several — of Tesla’s all-electric vehicles never have to pump gas again. They can go almost anywhere, assured and comforted, knowing that their cars produce basically no emissions.

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Photo Courtesy: Adriana Minadi/YouTube

This Tesla owner opted for a pretty entertaining license plate that doubles as an advertisement for the futuristic cars. Like a demi-god riding high above the plebeians, this person felt like revealing their disgust and amusement toward "conventional" vehicles — and their drivers — by saying "GAS LOL." Or, maybe they were commenting on flatus.

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Fair Warning

Getting stuck behind someone who drives well below the speed limit can be irritating, and it can be difficult to understand why someone isn't putting the pedal to the metal. But anyone caught behind this driver has no one to blame but themselves.

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Photo Courtesy: Zackery Killmore/YouTube

There's plenty of fair warning given with this license plate. The "ya" also lets other drivers know that this person is perfectly aware of how slowly they're going, and it's those other drivers’ problem — not theirs. If this license plate belongs to a granny, it must be the most sarcastic, self-aware grandma in Virginia.

Upholding Standards

Those who decide to personalize their license plates tend to want to make statements about themselves or the world around them. The challenge is coming up with something that only requires a handful of characters. Well, this North Carolina driver succeeded — most likely in a neat and timely manner.

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Photo Courtesy: MrBigTrucks101/YouTube

Now, anyone who says that they’re never late has some high standards. The only trouble with this is life itself — accidents and mistakes do happen, so the likelihood of someone being early or on-time to things 100% of the time, during their whole lives, is basically zero.

Abbreviation Fail

Abbreviations can be a fun and practical way of shortening long terms and phrases. But you really need to analyze them well before use, or you could end up like this nice mom from Pennsylvania. Now, the boast of "nicest mom" isn't a terrible one.

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Photo Courtesy: Zackery Killmore/YouTube

But spelling is essential. The phrase "ncest mom" looks like "nicest mom," sure. But it also looks like "incest mom," which is an absolutely gut-busting fail. Did no one tip this mom off before she spent the money on her license plate?

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Helpful Disclaimer

Before June 17, 1994, a white Ford Bronco was just a car. But after that fateful day, it was known as the car OJ Simpson drove during his infamous low-speed police chase. The next year would see a massive increase in Ford Bronco sales, no doubt thanks to plenty of television coverage.

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Photo Courtesy: Dirk Anderson/YouTube

Even today, it's difficult to see a solid-white Ford Bronco and not think about OJ Simpson. The owner of this vehicle was probably harassed by random people wanting to know if the car belonged to Simpson. This license plate quickly — and hilariously — clears everything up.

Suspiciously Defensive

People from North Carolina sure do tend to make some strange statements with their license plates. This set of tags is attached to a Hummer, so perhaps this message is supposed to be interpreted as "I'm Hummer." But if that was the owner's intention — well, they failed miserably.

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Photo Courtesy: Tooco/YouTube

This license plate looks like it says "I'm human" or "I'm hummin’," both of which are fairly odd things to be telling strangers. While the fail is funny enough, it's even better to imagine a less-than-subtle robot with a Hummer, desperately trying to convince everyone that it's a real boy.

Brutal Honesty

Honesty is often the best policy. But what about brutal honesty? Sometimes blunt words and intentions can lead to hurt feelings and tense relationships. The owner of this Jetta doesn't seem to care, which is just as refreshing as it is humorous.

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Photo Courtesy: Adriana Minadi/YouTube

Let's face it; people can be a real pain. Some people don't understand physical or social boundaries, which makes for some truly awkward situations. This driver seems to have been through plenty of those situations and would like them to stop. Hence, the concise license plate warning.

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Asking to Get Pulled Over

Red cars might get pulled over more often and require more expensive insurance, but this license plate probably quadrupled this driver's chance of encountering some concerned police officers. There are a few things you shouldn't do and shouldn't be while operating a vehicle, and this license plate lists one of the most important no-nos.

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Photo Courtesy: Cory Doctorow/Flickr

Never drink and drive. Never drive drunk. It's against the law, and it's dangerous. But hey, if you want a license plate that says, "drunk," then, by all means, exercise your freedoms. The consequences are sure to be entertaining — not for you, but for everyone else.

V Is for Virginia

Oh, Virginia. You have inspired some remarkably delightful license plates. This one features a University of Virginia logo that functions as a free letter V. And the things you can do with an extra V are, well, limited. But this driver didn't let a great opportunity go to waste!

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Photo Courtesy: Dirk Anderson/YouTube

In fact, this license plate reads more like promotional material for a (poorly named) collegiate sports team than a dirty joke. Hopefully, the driver of this car went into advertising, because they've got some obvious raw talent.

No Kidding

Any pickup truck owner can tell you how good (or bad) their vehicle's gas mileage is. Some trucks get an average of only 10 miles to the gallon, while others reach a staggering 23 miles or more per gallon. Pickup trucks are usually gas guzzlers, though.

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Photo Courtesy: Funny Text/YouTube

Fortunately for the world, this pickup truck owner felt like publicly acknowledging this hard truth. And the fact that they’re laughing about what a pathetic ratio they get makes it easier for others to laugh with them. Even if it’s not exactly the most conscientious thing to do in this age of climate change.

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Raise the Sails

Pirates are no longer associated with romance novels and history programs. At least, those aren't the only things pirates are known for. A few films starring Johnny Depp, some illegal downloading practices and troubles in Somalia have all elevated the term "pirate" into contemporary consciousness.

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Photo Courtesy: mundotaku/YouTube

This driver — surprise, they're from Virginia — decided to show their love for pirates by turning their vehicle into a rolling Jolly Roger flag. One that says, "Aarrr," just like a stereotypical pirate does. The only thing that would make this better is if the owners blasted the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack on repeat.

Clever Girl

The owner of this Ford Explorer must love puns and wordy jokes because their chosen license plate is a clever play on the vehicle's model name and a popular cartoon character. Even people who don't have children know what Dora the Explorer is. They may even know what to say to Swiper.

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Photo Courtesy: Tooco/YouTube

So, combining a license plate that says "DORA THE" and a Ford Explorer equals "Dora the (Ford) Explorer." Though the placement of these elements is a little off unless you read anime, it's still a surprisingly amusing sight.

Villainous

Though many evil supervillains tend to go into hiding, staying inconspicuous as often as possible, others choose to be as in-your-face as possible. Though it's unlikely that there's a devious, super-powered bad guy behind the wheel of this Toyota — unlikely, but not impossible — this license plate seems like the perfect choice for an extroverted villain.

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Photo Courtesy: Adriana Minadi/YouTube

Imagine being cut off in the middle of traffic. It's a scary situation sometimes, especially when some wacko tries to speed around slowly moving cars. But if someone swerves out in front of you and their license plate reads "muahaha," that's just weird, random and fantastically hilarious.

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Where?

Virginia's at it again! This license plate may make you laugh — initially — but keep on looking. You're bound to end up with burning questions and spicy suppositions. How did this end up as a license plate? That's the biggest question, of course.

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Photo Courtesy: sahnit kaushal/YouTube

But, perhaps more importantly, where is this poop? "Eww, poop" is often said when someone spots a previously unseen pile of feces somewhere unexpected — like a car. It's a mystery and one that will probably never be solved. Still, who would want to take a ride in the poo-mobile? Where's that poo?

So Upset

There were some upset feelings going around when this beautiful car received its tags. Though the plate may just look like a series of letters and numbers, it's an acronym paired with a restaurant term.

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Photo Courtesy: sahnit kaushal/YouTube

"WTF" stands for "what the f**k," and "86" means "get rid of it." So, properly translated, this license plate reads, "What the f**k, get rid of it!" Those are some pretty strong words — and even stronger feelings — for a license plate. Perhaps a few rounds of counseling would help this metal tag calm down.

Hopefully Unintentional

Canadians aren't too far from Americans, culturally and geographically speaking. So, it makes sense that they’d also generate some surprising, embarrassing and amusing license plates. But this one, well, you can see for yourself.

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Photo Courtesy: Funny Text/YouTube

Firstly, if there is a child out there called BJ, we get it. But if this kid has a mom who’s proud of them — proud enough to make a license plate in their honor — that mom should have a friend. That friend should have put their foot down about this plate. No one should be a BJ mom.

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A Bit Redundant

Smart Cars are eco-friendly, cute and compact. They’re also the butt of hundreds of jokes due to their incredibly small size, low speed and general goofy appearance. They're electric cars that were designed to reduce city pollution and help increase parking capacity.

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Photo Courtesy: mundotaku/YouTube

But they look like clown cars. This driver seems to have weathered many conversations about how smart their new Smart Car actually was. After probably the thousandth argument, this owner went for the most blatant license plate ever: "NOTDUMB." It's so childish; that's why it's great.

Dad Car

A dad in California — most likely, judging by the type of humor — created this referential, unexpected license plate. Driving an Impala is nothing out of the ordinary. There's nothing inherently funny about Impalas.

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Photo Courtesy: Tooco/YouTube

Unless, of course, you add "Vlad the" before the name on the plate frame. Vlad the Impaler probably wouldn't laugh at this one, but that's just because he'd have no idea what a car is. Also, he probably wouldn't be very good at reading modern English. Just saying.

It Shows

Lamborghinis are expensive cars. And making that statement is on par with saying that the sky is blue. Everyone knows the sky is blue, and everyone knows that Lamborghinis cost as much as some houses. But the owner of this rocking-red sports car seemed to be unsure about the whole thing.

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Photo Courtesy: Adriana Minadi/YouTube

That's why their license plate reads "N DEBT." Looking at the type of car attached to that license plate, it’s no wonder! But, this could be an anti-theft feature. Thieves targeting this car might be put off when they realize the owner is broke.

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Thanks for Sharing

Californians have a reputation for being beautiful, sun-kissed golden gods and goddesses, slumbering in beachside mansions and wandering off to endless wineries. That's a pretty exaggerated stereotype. But then these license plates show up, and a tiny part of that Californian swagger gets proven true.

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Photo Courtesy: sahnit kaushal/YouTube

For example, this driver wants the world to know that they love their butt. That's great, but it's not exactly news that everyone needs to know. Unless, of course, this person's love for their own posterior has changed the world in a massively positive way, in which case, keep on lovin' those buns!

The Sandman Cometh

If you thought "drunk" was a bad license plate, get ready for "asleep." Falling asleep behind the wheel is just as bad as driving while under the influence, as both tend to result in fatal car accidents. So, tipping off every driver behind you — including police officers — to the fact that you may be snoozing is both somewhat responsible and absolutely strange.

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Photo Courtesy: JacobslifeinVegas/YouTube

The only other possibility is that the driver of this vehicle is the opposite of "woke." Actually, no matter how you look at it, this license plate is kind of nonsensical.

Vampiric Carpool

"Maryland Vampire Volkswagen" sounds either like an indie band or a vampiric carpool service. Either way, it's awesome and worth more than a few bouts of outrageous giggles. Unless, of course, this license plate is a serious warning and not a comical piece of metal.

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Photo Courtesy: Dirk Anderson/YouTube

Then again, would a mystical, undead, supernatural being advertise themselves with a license plate? All signs point toward no. So this vehicle — and its tags — shall forever remain known as "The Vampire Volkswagen." The mention of Maryland is optional. On second thought, maybe it's supposed to read, "VA empire"?

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Three Ms

A Florida person decided on this alliterative and off-color license plate, and unless you speak and read Spanish, it's just an average, sports-oriented tag. But, if you do understand Spanish, you'll know precisely why this plate is so darn funny. The letter M logo for the Miami Dolphins acts as a free extra letter.

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Photo Courtesy: mundotaku/YouTube

Paired with "ierda," this extra M helps to spell the Spanish word for, well, er, poop. But it's not a very nice word for poop. It's more of a curse word — the four-letter S word.

Excellent Wordplay

It's so apparent that a dad made this decision. "Van Diesel" is hilarious, and it actually fits that van perfectly. Vin Diesel is bald, and Van Diesel is hairless. They're both pretty strong, pretty tough and capable of traveling long distances.

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Photo Courtesy: Adriana Minadi/YouTube

It'd be great to find out that this van participates in drift races in honor of Diesel himself. Hopefully, the machine hasn't adopted any of the star's swag and attitude, because that would make for a very bumpy ride. The car chases could get intense!

The Spirit of America

Motorcycles need license plates too, you know. But this one was chosen based on potty jokes. Yep, you're reading that right. It says "POOPS." Obviously, this biker knows what makes them laugh. But the unintentional addition of "Mass" — short for Massachusetts — creates a new phrase. Of course, it begs the question of whether it was unintentional at all.

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Photo Courtesy: sahnit kaushal/YouTube

The terror of every public restroom, "Mass POOPS" is a frightfully funny license plate. Unfortunately, it does kind of act as a label for anyone operating that bike.

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Indecision at Its Finest

Moving to the desert means plenty of sand, hot sun and not a lot of green vegetation. All in all, figuring out what to do for fun can be a significant challenge.

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Photo Courtesy: Tooco/YouTube

This indecision — and a healthy spoonful of ambivalence — shows up clearly in this Arizona license plate. When asked what text they'd like on their personalized license plate, this driver apparently answered with, "IDK LOL." If that seems far-fetched, think again. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Interesting Priorities

If the children are our future, then according to this Virginia license plate, there will soon be no future. Soylent Green might be people, but at least it's not tiny human children. This cannibalistic license plate is so ridiculous, so laughable and so perfectly framed, it almost seems unreal.

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Photo Courtesy: mundotaku/YouTube

This plate features two tiny, blood-red handprints on the side. It's supposed to be reminiscent of childhood fingerpainting. But this innocent image becomes something from a horror film when paired with the text, "Virginia / eat the / kids first." Brilliant.

Not Quite Right

Virginians know how to make a ludicrous license plate. Again and again, these folks prove that they have some strong statements to make with their tags. Like many awkward license plates, this example could be interpreted in many different ways. The most obvious interpretation, of course, is that it says "vibrator."

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Photo Courtesy: Adriana Minadi/YouTube

But also possible is the occupation title, "vibe rater," which is someone who rates vibes, categorizing them as either good or bad. Ok, so there's no such thing as a vibe rater. Whoever paid for this bad boy wanted their license plate to reference something pretty specific.

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