Girls Who Were Guilted Into Dating a “Nice Guy” Share What Actually Went Down
The saying “nice guys finish last” definitely bears some truth in real life. Often, girls who reject the “nice guys” they come across typically feel a sense of regret, especially after they get hurt by the “bad boys” they went with instead.
But that’s not to say that all “nice guys” are good picks either. Love isn’t charity, and some straight women had to learn this the hard way. Women across the internet shared what actually happened when they ignored their gut and went for the “nice guy.” While there are a few heartwarming stories, some girls have been scarred for life. Maybe some of these “nice guys” deserve to finish last.
She’s a Queen and He Knows It
I moved to another state with my sister and she made some new friends. One of them begged her to set me up with him and I reluctantly agreed. She assured me that he was a very nice guy. On our first date, he kept gushing about how gorgeous I was. He even told me he was going to make me his queen and take me around the world. It was definitely flattering, but I just wasn’t that interested in him. After our dinner, I made it clear that I was only interested in being friends, but he continued to beg my sister to get me to go out on another date. I declined and we moved back home.
A few months later, he came to visit us. I didn’t want to invite him into our home, but out of courtesy, we did anyway. He wouldn’t stop looking at me. Luckily for him, it was my birthday and I was in a really good mood, so I just rolled my eyes and told him he could come out with my group of friends.
At the bar, he was really into me and I was getting annoyed because he wouldn’t let me relax. At some point during the night, I told him in front of everyone that I really only saw him as a friend. He then threw a fit, yelling at me and saying what a horrible person I was for leading him on. I ended up crying because it was so embarrassing.
My guy friends went to “talk” to him after they heard what happened. The next morning, my sister told me that he said he was really sorry. He wanted me to say bye to him at the airport. I obviously didn’t.
Must Have Been Quite a Pizza
He was a friend of a friend, but we hung out with the same group of people and always went to the same parties.The guys in the group would always say things like, “Ah man, you and Kyle would be so great together! You should give him a shot!” I’d kind of laugh it off because I already had a boyfriend.
When my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, Kyle asked me out. I wasn’t really ready, but I figured it was just a first date, so I agreed. Plus, everyone had been pressuring me into giving this guy a chance, so I felt like I couldn’t say no.
The whole evening was awkward. We just ordered a pizza and watched movies, and he would NOT STOP STARING. I couldn’t even eat because I felt like I was under a microscope.
After our date, we kept in touch through text. About a week later, he asked when we could have another date. I told him that maybe I had rushed into things too fast and that I just wasn’t feeling any connection with him. Then he dropped a bomb on me:
“I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU!”
Yup. When Kyle found out that I was single, he dumped his girlfriend of eight months just so he could ask me out. The timely cherry on top is that they got back together. I haven’t seen him in four years.
That’s a Big No
All my friends told me this guy from our group of friends was really nice, even though I felt like he was creepy. I gave him a shot and we went out once, but I regretted it immediately.
He asked me if I’d be interested in entering a relationship with him, and I said no because I truly wasn’t interested. He then said that saying no was disrespectful. Big yikes.
After that awkward date, he came over to my place, completely uninvited. He asked me if he could ruffle through my hair because he wanted to feel my scalp. He also kept asking me to sit closer to him, even though we were already next to each other. He thought it was a great idea to mention that he heard voices in his head often and has dreamt of hurting people.
I immediately rushed him out of my apartment. I just wanted him to be gone. I checked my keys five times to see if he took any. He is, by far, the most creepy, socially inept person I’ve ever met. He’s so aggressive and impulsive.
But Is He Really “Genuinely Nice”?
He seemed nice enough, so I thought I’d give him a chance. Now I regret it. When we went out on our first date, he acted extremely snobby towards me. Every time I offered a contradictory point of view on any general topic of discussion, he would immediately disagree. And when he couldn’t prove me wrong, he would resort to mocking my appearance, attire and personality. That was the last date, obviously.
He Sounds Like a Stalker, Mom
During my first week of college, I was in the dorm common room going through the calendar on my phone. I didn’t realize that some guy was looking over my shoulder as I was doing so.
He went up to me and said, “I see you don’t have plans on Saturday. We’re going to breakfast.” I obviously objected, not knowing who the heck this guy was, but he just wouldn’t leave me alone. He just kept asking and asking.
Eventually, I agreed to go out with him. I was purposely on my worst behavior in an attempt to repulse him, but I must have not done a great job because he ended the date by calling his mom and telling her that he met his future bride.
He then handed the phone to me. I told his mother that I had absolutely no interest in her son and that I was only there because he wouldn’t leave me alone. His mom laughed and said, “Sounds like my boy!”
After our date, he would regularly sit on the couch outside my dorm door and wait for me to come outside. He followed me to and from my classes for two months and tried to befriend my roommate to get closer to me. He gave up after some time and moved on to another target who, apparently, ended up getting a restraining order against him.
Always Trust Your Gut
He brought flowers to my dorm and everyone saw. They assumed we were a couple. He made small talk with a few people as he waited for me in the lobby and even added them on Facebook, saying he would “definitely be seeing them again.”
He did a lot of things “nice guys” are expected to do. He opened the car door for me, paid for dinner, etc. But I could feel that underneath it all, I was accumulating some sort of “debt,” as if he expected me to owe him something in return for his chivalry.
My gut feeling ended up being right. When I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore, he started harassing me and saying that I owed him a second date. Gross, I know. Eventually, I just stopped responding to his texts. I realized afterward I should have trusted my gut and avoided him in the first place. So I’ll take the blame for that.
This Guy Needs a Reality Check
He seemed genuinely nice. Despite a couple of my friends warning me, I went on a date with him. Things started out fine. We went for beer and wings and we tried to get to know each other better. At some point, he started talking about how he’d like to make enough money to support a housewife. I told him that I was personally not interested in that sort of life and he got very quiet.
When the time came to pay for dinner, I asked for the bills to be separate, and he got very upset with me. The waitress was visibly uncomfortable and I didn’t want to argue, so I just let him pay. He walked me home, said our goodbyes and I made my way to the door. He ran after me, held the door as I opened it and asked, “Where’s my kiss? I paid so I deserve a kiss…or more.” I shook my head, shut the door and locked it.
A few days later, he told some of our mutual friends that I was in love with him. I guess he just couldn’t take the rejection and had to lie to make himself feel better.
“We Finish Each Other’s—” “Sandwiches!”
I was the girl who loved bad boys. The nice guy in my life had been my best friend for a number of years, and I always knew he liked me, but I was busy chasing mean guys. We grew up together and he watched me pick all the wrong people. Other friends kept telling me to give him a chance, but I just never listened.
Two years ago, he asked me to come over for dinner. It seemed fairly casual until I realized he’d asked me for Valentine’s Day. I can’t say I was guilted, but it still felt a little awkward. I was nervous thinking it was gonna be so weird, but when I turned up it was fine. He cooked a meal, bought flowers, opened a bottle of wine, offered me chocolates and lit candles on the table. I don’t drink much, so he ended up getting through the whole bottle of wine because he was so nervous. Still, it was a lovely evening and things felt very natural.
Fast forward a few years later and now we’re approaching our second anniversary. We share a lovely home together, look after a beautiful (but evil) Egyptian Mau cat and couldn’t be happier. We even finish each other’s sentences and never run out of things to talk about. He is genuinely the best thing to ever happen to me. Sometimes the nice guy does win!
Jealousy at Its Finest
I didn’t date him, but we were good friends in college. He was also very close with my boyfriend at the time. We used to chat for hours at night and he was a fun person to be around in general.
One night, he sent me a long letter confessing his interest in me. I was really surprised because I had never noticed any signs that he was. I told him I really cared about him as a friend but that I wasn’t interested in him in any other way. I also pointed out that I was still dating his friend.
At that point, he sent a wave of hateful messages, calling me “shallow” and saying that I only liked my boyfriend for his appearance. You think you know a guy…
Sounds Like She Needed a Megaphone
I wasn’t guilted into going out with the guy, but we were coworkers and I knew he liked me. So when he asked me to play pool with him after work, I told him that I’d go as long as he understood we would just be hanging out as friends.
After our pool night, he asked me if I wanted to play laser tag. I said okay. Then he asked me to dinner. Once again, I said okay but told him I’d be paying for my own bill since it still wasn’t a date.
Halfway through dinner, he went to the bathroom and sent me a text message officially asking me out on a date. It was sweet, but I replied that I was still only interested in being friends. He got really upset, left the restaurant and never spoke to me again.
Food…Makes You Fat?
I worked with a guy who, after he found out I was divorced, asked me out on a date. I refused because I felt it was too early for me to be dating again. He started sending me emails at work asking me to give him a chance. He kept saying that he was a nice guy and that I wouldn’t regret it. After some deliberation, I figured I’d throw the guy a bone.
On our first date, he kept telling the female server to stop me from eating my dinner because he said I was going to get fat. He thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. Let’s just say that first date was also our last.
Mom Doesn’t Always Know Best
I went on a blind date with some guy my mom set me up with. He picked me up in his truck and off we went. We went to the mall and saw a movie. Then we walked around and shopped for a few things.
After a while, I got my period. I get really bad cramps, but I was ashamed to tell him, so I just told him I wasn’t feeling well. After that, his mood totally changed. He brought me home and didn’t talk to me at all on the way.
When he dropped me off, I told him I had fun with him and that we should see each other again. He just looked at me while I closed the door and left. No words, nothing. I know he thought I was pretending to be sick to get out of our date, but it sucks because that really wasn’t the case. What a shame.
You Know You’re on a Date Now, Right?
It was more curiosity than guilt. His profile was okay. He seemed like a nice guy, the kind who opens doors and pays for everything.
He arrived first for our coffee date, so he bought himself one and sat down. When I arrived, he never stood up or offered to buy me one. Not that I cared, but in his profile, he said it was what he liked to do.
He spent the whole date complaining about how hard it was for him to find dates, and how he was going speed dating the following week. I didn’t bother pointing out that he was already on a date. When I left, he didn’t open the door for me either. In fact, I think I opened it for him. I wished him well at the speed dating.
What a Non-Gentleman
I dated a guy in college who didn’t have a car, so I drove everywhere. On one date, I parked the car when we got to our destination and got out before him. He screamed at me for not waiting until he got out of the car first. He wanted to run over and open the door for me. The relationship did not last very long.
Worse Than a Marriage Proposal
He told me he was excited about the possibility of getting into a relationship with me. He also said he couldn’t wait to delete our individual Facebook profiles so he could create a joint one for us. No thanks.
Just Your Average “Friendly” Stalker
Everyone said he was very nice but also extremely shy. We started dating and it was pretty boring, but at least he was a great listener. He was attentive and seemed interested in my hobbies.
But it bothered me that he never had any stories of his own. He probably retold the same two stories over and over. I know not everyone is terribly exciting, but he was a lot older than I was and he was always talking about his bucket list, so I expected him to be much more interesting.
As soon as he sensed that I was starting to lose interest, he would panic and start watching me. I would be talking on the phone and he would be waiting nearby, peeking around corners. If I caught him doing it, he’d have something like a snack or mail handy to pretend to be doing something else. The longest I noticed him lurking was during a 30-minute-long phone call I had with my dad. I could see his shadow underneath the door, lingering the entire time.
I broke up with him after I realized the extent of his lurking. I felt a little bad because he truly was a nice guy, but the lurking just creeped me out too much.
Sounds Like a Manipulative Jerk
He asked me out to lunch and I said okay because I had been friends with him for years. When we sat down, he told me he had a brain tumor and that he needed to confess his love to me before it was too late. I was not about to be the girl who turned down the guy with cancer, so I reluctantly said okay.
Three months later, I found out that he knew the tumor was benign the whole time. He toyed with my emotions so that I would go out with him.
Was She Being Punk’d?
I wasn’t impressed with his limited conversation topics and obvious attempts to show that he was “not like other men.” When he saw that I wasn’t having a great time, he cut me off mid-sentence, hugged me and said he was going to head home. Very weird experience.
He Just Broke All the Rules of Snapchat
A really nice guy had been asking me out constantly in my DMs and I figured I would give him a chance. The date was okay; the conversation didn’t flow well, but I didn’t hold that against him. We ended up getting coffee and taking a walk around town…which ended up being a five-mile walk. At that point, I was ready to go home, so he walked me to my car and I drove home.
Here’s where it gets weird. As soon as I pulled into my driveway, my phone blew up with Snapchat notifications. The guy sent me three minutes’ worth of Snapchat videos confessing his love for me, begging me for a second date and saying all the minute details he found attractive about me. My drive home was literally 10 minutes long.
Sometimes, It Doesn’t Work Out, and That’s Okay
I went on a date with a friend from high school who also happened to be my ex’s roommate. It was a quiet date even though we’d known each other for years. He was nice, but nothing ever happened. Later on, I set him up with my sister-in-law. They dated for a year. Now he’s married (to someone else) and has an adorable son. We’re still friends, 20 years after we met.
I married him! Literally the best, most reliable guy who supports me in absolutely everything. Gives me everything I never knew I needed. He is my absolute hero and I couldn’t be happier!
Actually a “Nice Guy”
When I was single, my sister was planning a party and mentioned that her boyfriend’s very nice, very single friend would be coming. When I met him, he was shy but sweet. He later messaged me on Facebook and asked for my number since he was too nervous to ask me in person. We talked for a bit and went out on a fun date. Then another. And another.
Four months later, we moved in together. Now, it’s been five years. We’re married and have a 2-year-old little boy. Sometimes a “nice guy” is actually a nice guy.
They Do Say That Poetry Is What We Live For
He showed up to our first date with a framed print of an original poem he wrote for me. That lovey-dovey stuff is just not my cup of tea. The dinner was also super awkward. Never again.
Sounds Very Awkward for Everyone
My high school friend really, really liked me and kept hinting at a relationship. I tried to drop hints that I wasn’t into it, but he wouldn’t let up. All of our mutual friends were trying to talk me into it.
Eventually, we ended up alone and I let him kiss me. He immediately told me he was in love with me, and that his whole family thought we were dating. I told him that I was still not into it, and set the record straight for everyone. It was very awkward.
He Just Wasn’t Ready to Let Go
I told him I liked him, but I just wanted to be friends. When he drove me home, he held my hand in the car as if he didn’t even hear me. I had to fake a coughing fit to get it back.
He was awful — overbearing, possessive and disrespectful of all my boundaries. He proposed to me once we were broken up and proceeded to marry someone else less than a month later.
This Sounds Like a Sitcom
His mom called the cops on me at our prom because I danced with another boy.
Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
After our initial “date,” we stayed friends for five years. Then, we got back together for three and a half years and eventually got married. At the start, I wasn’t physically attracted to him and didn’t want a relationship, but still agreed to go out with him because he was nice. I told him how I felt and he was fine with that. During the whole time we knew each other, he was an actual friend. It took me living far away from him to realize how much I loved him.
When I went to visit him, we decided that we wanted to be with each other and we’ve been together ever since. He’s still the nicest guy.
This Poor Guy…
It lasted two weeks, but only because he asked me out the day before winter break. We didn’t even talk to each other once. A few months later, I was talking to my friends who had dated him before, and all 10 of us said we dated him because we felt bad.
And Here’s a Happy Ending
We met during our freshman year of college. He was my best friend for months and I wasn’t really into him when we first started talking, but now we’re in love. We have been together for almost a year.