Frequent Fliers Share Their Most Hilarious ‘Extracurricular Activities’ at 30,000 Feet
Many travelers have thought about it, but few have attempted it: getting it on while flying. From couples to strangers that have just met, courageous passengers have been sneaking to the back of the plane to check this off their bucket list since airplane travel was invented. Although many of those trying to join the mile high club choose to play it safe, most can’t seem to refrain from making some extremely risqué decisions — even while flying at an altitude of 35,000 feet. These real-life stories of passengers who have joined (or attempted to join) the mile high club may make you rethink the next time you and that special someone try sneaking into the bathroom when the seatbelt sign is on.
Do NOT Go in There!
The closest thing to seeing someone trying to get into the mile high club was when I was on a flight where I saw one of the flight attendants with one of the pilots.
Now, the thing to keep in mind is that this was before 9/11, when the cockpit wasn’t kept so securely locked. There was a bit of a bug spreading around the plane, which I was asked to take care of since I was the only doctor on board.
I made my way to the cockpit to inform the pilot of the condition of the passengers, and as soon as I opened the door, I saw the flight attendant being intimate with the pilot.
Hindsight Is 20/20
I almost joined the mile high club once. I got bumped into first class while flying home from collegeand found myself sitting there next to a positively beautiful woman. She was a bit older, and I was trying desperately to be suave, so when she leaned over and suggested we join the mile high club, rather than admit I was unfamiliar with the term, I whispered back, “I really don’t travel enough to make that worthwhile.” God, that was 20 years ago.
Nope, still can’t laugh about it.
I was a passenger many years ago on a Boeing 727 flying from New York to Miami. We were cruising along when a “ding” was heard throughout the cabin. Then “ding ding.” Then “ding ding ding ding.” Everyone looked at each other with a bit of alarm; then the air hostesses started laughing. “Ding ding ding ding,” faster and faster, and then nothing. Since all the air hostesses were staring at the back of the plane, so did the passengers. Out came a young couple, one after the other. The entire airplane burst into applause, and the young lady turned the most lovely shade of deep red.
The dinging had been the flight attendant call button
Some People Just Go for It
I was working a red-eye flight, first class with only 16 people there. The seats have a pretty decent-sized gap between them. A couple had been drinking and obviously flirting for some time now. I was done with the service, so I was just hanging out in the galley. I did a quick walk through the cabin to see how everyone was doing, and that’s when I saw the guy reaching over the large armrest in order to make a move. She was clearly enjoying it. I think the worst thing about it was that with the distance between the two seats, it was just so ridiculously obvious what he was doing. I honestly didn’t care that much so I just crept back to my jumpseat and continued to watch my Netflix show.
You Only Live Once
I was on a short flight from Barcelona to Lyon (1 hour and 30 minutes). This couple sitting beside me, close to the window, decided to make it a fun flight.
They were already pretty clearly under the influence, and that was only the beginning. They managed to order drinks every time the trolley was passing by. It was fun to watch and not too annoying. Besides the fact that they were getting a bit … excited along the way.
When it was time to buckle up for landing, she decided to “rest” her head on his lap, while he was looking through the window. I could not believe my eyes, but I slowly accepted the fact that it was happening right next to me. The guys on the other side of the aisle started to notice, and I was paralyzed in my seat.
They proceeded to leave the plane giggling when the plane landed.
Oh, Hey Neighbor!
I was ‘that guy’ who really, really had to urinate and was waiting for a free toilet. When the first one left the bathroom, the door was re-locked. Then the second sheepishly left … Oh, and they were sitting in the same row as me but across the aisle … that was awkward on a 9 hour flight.
Worst Possible Scenario
There was an episode of 1000 Ways where a couple tried to join the Mile High Club, and when they got in the bathroom, the plane hit turbulence. The couple got shook around and died from concussions. Mile high or mile die?
Right Down to Business
I’ve been a flight attendant for 3 years, and I’ve never caught anyone. I did have a coworker tell me she had two people in first class (during sleep time with all the lights off) having relations in one of their seats.
Bad Joke Alert
I’m a flight attendant. As a guy was walking off the plane, he looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Who do I talk to about joining the mile high club?” My reply: “Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.”
Luck of the Draw
I’m an airline pilot. During my first trip, we had a passenger get a little under the influence and expose herself to the cabin. There were no children on board, so the flight attendants didn’t even bother to tell us until we were waiting for the hotel van.
That same month, we had a couple near the back of the plane lift the middle armrest and use a blanket to hide themselves. They were kind enough to take the blanket with them at the end of the flight.
A Little Loaded
I was flying back from my grandmother’s funeral and started a conversation with the woman next to me. She became inebriated and showed me grainy pictures of herself on her flip phone. She got very drunk and tried to get me to have relations with her in the bathroom, but I declined. She was puking in there as we were landing.
I’m a flight attendant. My girlfriend came on one of my layovers recently, and we had a very long delay to get back home. The flight that left before us was booked light, so they re-accommodated all of the remaining passengers to that flight. When we finally flew back to base, we had no passengers, so my girlfriend decided to stay on my flight and be the only passenger. Looking back, I probably missed an opportunity.
Yes. Exactly Like That.
I was flying from Bali to Thailand and was seated between two girls from the U.K. that were friends. We start talking, and I was telling them a story about how just before I got on the plane, there was this couple aggressively kissing. They started laughing, and one went, “Like this?” And they both leaned over me and start kissing for about 30 seconds. I just sat there in disbelief.
That Was Surprising
I once was serving refreshments late at night, and I stopped by a gentleman who was very surprised by my presence. I soon noticed something was going on under the blanket on his lap. It was pretty shocking since he was a guy in kandoora (traditional Muslim attire), and the lady next to him was in abaya. The many layers of cloth had hidden what they were doing. I just said, “Please, we are landing soon.”
Job Well Done, Old Sport
Joining the mile high club was easy. All I did was help my girlfriend fake-limp her way to the toilet. I went inside the toilet to assist her, and no one looked twice.
Flight of a Lifetime
I’m not a flight attendant, but rather the owner of a chartered flight company. I remember a couple in their late 30s who mentioned something about how they’d saved all their money for this “once in a lifetime experience.” They booked an hour-long flight, got in and had relations as soon as they were ready. Needless to say, this was against charter policy and basic human decency.
I called them after we landed and said that they’d have to pay for cleaning. I also asked why they did it in spite of the policy, and they said, “Joining the mile high club is on our bucket list and we saved our money to cross it off in style.” The clean-up bill came out to 2 hours worth of chartered flight.
I have had plenty of people being intimate in their seats (side note: we all know what’s going on), and people have actually asked if they could spruce up the bathroom first. I allow it because usually, they leave within a few seconds and realize our low budget airlines bathroom will probably give them a disease, and there’s not much space. However, some of our flight attendants have had relations in the back galleys on red eyes or in the cockpit with the pilots.
The Pilot Is My Wingman
Back when my wife and I were heading out on our honeymoon, we were doing the typical wait in the airport. It was a late night flight on a small plane out of a regional airport, so there was only going to be four of us on the plane total. My wife was wearing her veil, so it was pretty obvious we were on a honeymoon.
As we were headed out to board, the captain was in the cabin. He greeted us and asked if we had gotten a limo for the wedding. We told him no, and then he replied, “Well, this will be your limo. The other two people missed the flight, so it’s just the two of you.” We headed to the exit row seats since they were open. After the flight attendant did a special pre-flight cabin service for us, she asked if we wanted any drinks on the house.
We both ordered drinks, and when she brought them back, she also brought a few extra blankets and warned, “The captain said that if you make a mess, you gotta clean it up.” She handed us the drinks and blankets and headed to her seat. They turned off all the cabin lights, and we started on our way.
Best flight ever.
I may not be the captain of the mile high club, but I like to think of myself as a first-class flyer.
Childhood Officially Ruined
I’m not a flight attendant, but I once walked to the back of the plane when I was like 10 to go to the bathroom. My family and I were coming back from Disneyland to Chicago, and I was mostly just bored because of the long flight. The bathroom sign said ‘vacant’, so I just opened the door, not expecting anyone to be in there.
I walked in on an 80-year-old couple doing something weird. Apparently, they forgot to lock the door. I was so shocked and embarrassed that I didn’t even know what to say. I just stood there frozen in the doorway and said nothing.
The old lady slammed the door shut, and I just walked back to my seat. I was really young and didn’t really understand that sort of intimacy yet, so it didn’t click in my mind until a couple years later. They were either having some fun or helping each other go to the bathroom. I don’t even really know what I saw, but it wasn’t pretty.
Now Is Not the Time
Former air marshal here. I never saw anyone join the Mile High Club, but my buddy, Chuck, caught someone.
Chuck was just sitting there watching a movie, and he noticed the guy next to him put his hand under his blanket. He didn’t think anything of it. Next thing he knew, however, the guy started moving. Most people would have just pretend it wasn’t happening, but Chuck was someone with no concern for social graces. He hit the guy with his book and shouted, “What the heck are you doing?”
What a Strange Ride It’s Been
There was this old guy who had 14 drinks on the plane ride. (It was written on his shirt). Then, during a medical emergency, he claimed he was not only a doctor, but also a licensed pilot. After refusing to provide identification proving he was a doctor, he asked if I was interested in going to the bathroom with him.
Lost in Translation
Once when I was flying from New York to Las Vegas to meet up with some friends, there was a guy next to me who was clearly pretty interested in chatting, so we had a very generic small talk conversation, and then I started watching a movie.
Mid-movie, I had to use the bathroom, so I asked if I could get past him. He said something and gestured what I thought meant, “Oh, want me to move?” I responded with a “not actually listening and yeah yeah I have to get past” reaction.
He walked out into the aisle so I can get out of our row, but he was between me and the nearest bathroom, so I moved a step or two down the aisle so he can get back into our row of seats. Instead, he started walking toward the bathroom. I thought, well fine, I guess he will go to the other one since both vacant signs are lit up.
However, he walked just past the bathrooms and didn’t try to open either of them. Oh well, I have to urinate. So I go in, and within a few seconds, someone seemed to be trying to open the door. I said, “Just a minute!” or something. It jiggled a few more times, and then I heard the voice of the guy from the seat next to mine. Something like, “Let me know when you are ready,” or something.
Anyhow, I finished up and opened the door, and he was standing right in front of it. He started trying to get in, so I pushed him a bit and squeezed past to run back to my seat.
He came back too and sat right back next to me, and we both sat in silence for the remainder of the flight.
Way to Capitalize on the Situation
I’m a flight attendant. We have an aircraft that has two lavatories next to each other, and its designed to have a removable middle wall between them to make it into one big lavatory for passengers with wheelchairs. Another flight attendant and I had to set it up for a passenger with a disability on an international flight. When he was done, neither one of us were interested in putting the wall back, so we left it and agreed we would fix it after our break but before the second service when people tend to start waking up.
A couple that must have overheard me and the other lady talking apparently wasted no time. We were notified by another passenger that the two were in the extended suite. By the time we got to the lavatory, they were both walking out at the same time, each looking like a mess. They got a good scolding from the senior flight attendant and a reminder at just how unsanitary the lavatories are.
All in Good Fun
My ladyfriend is a flight attendant. In her best story, the offending couple came out of the bathroom and were presented with a First Time Mile High Club certificate signed by the whole flight crew, including the pilots. It was drawn on one of the first time certificates given to little kids, and they had crossed out a few words with crayon and written in Mile High Club instead of First Time Flyer.
The couple were suitably embarrassed.
I Need to Finish!
On a late night flight, I was sitting in the back galley half asleep when I noticed two of the passengers kissing. I thought nothing of it since people lose all boundaries on planes, and I started setting up the service trolley.
As soon as the seatbelt sign went off, the lady got up and went to the bathroom. Nothing strange there, but after a few minutes, a line started to form until the gentleman pushed his way to the front and started trying to open the lock.
I leapt up, knocked his hand away and told him to sit down. He turned to me with the saddest expression I have ever seen and just said, “But I need to finish with her!” I almost couldn’t hold in my laughter.
Needless to say, we kept a keen eye on him for the rest of the flight, and one of my colleagues had a word with the lady.