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My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Oct-01-2009

Not funny, girl

This book is only what it says it is-a collection of the stories of one night stands. It is not wry, sarcastic, insightful, and the most it is not is funny. Not humorous at all. I was expecting so much more, got it to read aloud on a road trip. Ordered it from Amazon, when it came I started...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Sep-23-2009

Funny, Easy Read

Chelsea Handler is hilarious! This book is defintely an easy, entertaining read. Hard to just read one story at a time without wanting to read the next one.

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Sep-23-2009

Girl's Night

Last month, several of my girlfriends and I decided to spend the evening drinking lots of wine and reading aloud tales from the two Chelseas - Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands and Chelsea Goldstein's Hook-up Chronicles Hook-Up Chronicles....

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Sep-22-2009

I love it!

From reading this book, I'd have to say that the people to read this and think she is funny, have to have somewhat of a twisted and open minded sense of humor and not for those people that take offense to her sexual and very forward jokes and stories. If you're one of those people, then you...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Aug-05-2009

nothing special

I chose this book to improve on my English, ha-ha... I was sure it will be written in an easy, comprehensible language and I was right. However, the book itself... hmm... if most of us had nothing to do we could write even a better one about our horizontal life ;) Choose this book if you want to...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Aug-05-2009

hilarious

Chelsea Handler is a brilliant comedian. She gets very descriptive at times and is not afraid to tell the all out truth and that is what makes her such a funny person. This book, although it is a topic not commonly discussed, is fantastic. I love her show Chelsea Lately weeknights @ 11 on E! and...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Aug-03-2009

Dammit.

I cried when I read this book. I really did. And not just because it was ridiculously hysterical and so bloody amazing, but because I didn't write it first! Man, I love ya Chelsea, but I am seething in amorous jealousy at the moment. Oh well, at least reading this made me get off my booty and...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Jul-23-2009

Fun, fun, funny!

Chelsea Handler is a cool, funny chick. She does not care to take jabs at herself, either and there are no hold barred in this bio. Mostly, it's funny, tongue-in-cheek humour that made me laugh out loud several times. I am so glad this female comediane is able to publish her work and help make...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Jul-16-2009

Equal parts funny and raunchy

All I want to do after reading this book is scrub Chelsea Handler down with alcohol and a brillo pad. As the title aptly describes, this memoir is about the guys that Handler has known (she's screwed almost all of them).Is it funny? Hell yes. It's also raunchy and naughty and all those other...

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  • From: Amazon
  • Posted: Jul-14-2009

funniest book ever read

I love the honest and open stories Chelsea handler shares. I could not put this book down and I didn't want the book to end! I didn't find her second book as good ( are you there vodka its me chelsea) But I do give this book to all my friends as gifts now and they all love it!

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